A time sink professional#
A time sink free#

(thanks to Andy McKenzie for helping brainstorm this.) This is sustainable for a few years or so, or for lots of smaller chunks, but ultimately not a realistic long-term option unless you cut off your penis.īottom Line: Being single and looking takes just as much time and energy as being in a relatively low-maintenance relationship. Emotional wonderings are minimal since you're expecting to be single anyway.

A time sink professional#

Single and Not Looking is the best for those who want as much as time as possible for professional projects. So even though the 'scheduled time' for a boyfriend or girlfriend is greater, the total energy commitment is about equal to the single but looking person. Easier to focus on work when you are working. There's more certainty, less general / random anxiety and wondering. The energy spent for In a Relationship, by contrast, tends to be concentrated to the time you're actually spending with the person. With Single and Looking there's a great deal of emotional energy spent contemplating your lack of dating success, there's stress around existing dates, and of course, wondering, ' Is she interested? Am I interested? Do I play like I'm interested?' You spend a lot of cycles thinking about your dating life even when you're not going on dates. There are various reasons, but one big one. My thesis is that In a Relationship is just as much of a time and energy sink as Single and Looking. Weeknights and weekends are yours, and you profit from the power of low expectations.

A time sink free#

If you're not trying to go on dates and you're content being single, you'll have tons of free time. (Using your preferred CRM system, no doubt.) You'd like to be in a relationship so you spend a bunch of time thinking about your ideal mate, comparing and contrasting the various folks you're meeting, and pining wistfully for the relationship of old or idealizing the relationship you someday dream of having.ģ. You're going on first dates, trying to impress, and following up on leads. You're dating around, or sleeping around. (Obviously the 'maintenance level,' as they say, of the significant other affects time commitment.)Ģ. but mostly this is maybe 15-20 hours a week (sometimes much more) of time you'd otherwise have free. Sometimes you are able to double book time by watching movies, buying groceries, washing dishes, etc.

During much of that time you are 100% with the other person. You may spend every weekend with your significant other and one or two days during the week. To evaluate whether this is true, we need to look at the three possible relationship states pre-marriage.ġ. Several entrepreneurs have told me that they don't have time for a relationship. Many people focused on building their career view being in a romantic relationship as a time sink.